My friend found this meth addict’s diary.
And here, my friends, is the transcript of this intimate window into this persons sad, often hilarious hosed up life. Just as a disclaimer: I’m not doing this to say that drug addiction is a funny thing that needs to be laughed at. I’ve had friends who were addicts and people who use some drugs responsibly both and I try not to judge anyone’s lifestyle. What does deserve to be mocked is the writing itself. 
(page 1) There’s crystal in my brain and I’m the one to blame.
I’m going insane. Super-powers in my brain.
Sometimes I feel the brain pain. 
Of the nature of it’s game.
But when I feel the pain
I’m the one who has to change.
I’ll probly just change spots though
Make a better shot, yo
Stick it in my eardrum
->
And then I’ll have some real fun.
Wonder where that will take me.
Hope 2 not end up a crack-fiend dope smack fiend
(Here there is a windy arrow pointing 3 lines up indicating she wrote this later but wanted it to be up there in the poem)
After that I’ll be done, but I wonder if any harm will come
If I just do anothe 1

(page 2) Fuss Must Trust Cust Bust Lust 
Worn Sworn Thorn storm 
Warned form torn 
Way say lay day way stay pay
Took look b(illegible) shook book foot nook. 
She fight might righty right
flight type

(page 3) You just want
Do you still remember feelings this way?
Already it’s a start of a new day
I knew I shouldn’t have loving stayed…
I’m not bearable if you aren’t getting laid.
Or is it because I lack reliable pay
or cause cause I can’t control the things I choose to say?
So just shut up just be quiet. Just sit down. And no more words
You would be asked or acknowledged if you 

(page 4)wanted to be heard
So just shut up, just be quiet
Go sit in another room…
Shh! Shut up! Really Quiet— I hear them talking about you.
But I can’t hear them. Just a mumble and laugh but this joke if you heard you would not be laughing too. Because listen stupid girl, you are nothing but a screw. I wish I knew
where this was heading why did i make the first move???

(page 5) I need to leave. I need to go. A wasted week. Nothing to show
just some track marks and empty baggies for money I loving bloned.
——————————————————————SHHHH—————————————-
You hear that? I hear it too…
Again there talking about you “She… Ptshsh..Shshsh..”
I don Hear she but don’t have to guess who because listen loving
closly closely. I just heard your loving name. 

(page 6) I don’t know what you did to them its is no game.
He hates coz your stupid, loud, sketchy and loving lame.
I just heard them mention a former boy guyfriend’s name.
Then “A lot of beats” a chuckle Is this Can this lumping feeling inside
My body brain be compared to mental pain so when he finally leaves
the hiding to come ro will he point at me with blame?

(page 7) Or will he just look at me like everythings the loving same?
The more words I am overhearing drive me further in to psychd nook 
with every lieing tweaking(We actually thought this said “Fagging” at first but since that’s not a word we took another look)
word misleading word that I hear from from 
them it’s clearer then it looks a book I wish you weren’t so accepting
and you took a closer deeper look, I got a twenty on a bet that you regret that shot you took

(page 8) This little weekend-turned week has got your life completely shook. 
So what is going on? Is this just calm before the storm? It is something a
Rose hiding. (illegible) evil, leathee(?semi-legible) loving thorns?
I’m scared I am paranoid why wasn’t I couldn’t have I been loving warned?
Between the two sides of him I see it’s hard not to feel just a little torn.
Because I haven’t seen see when he doesn’t like someone he’ll 

(page 9) For more than what they wore it make sure to make it obvious like
he lived, did has since he was born
so why hes is he loving doing this? If he likes me as hes sworn but now 
I think about it my brain must be completly bust he’ll just reveale his secret to me
in his room amongst the cust his personal secret
to get the crack head all feel lust.

(page 10) The first one his is for free.
Second one is for a cuff if you want 
that loving third one then find some money in a fuss
find some $ in a huff coz u no as well as me you need another puff
does see me like a crackhead coz he must be loving nuts.
well i must have loving feel for it coz at first i saw as wak
was just a really easy way for me to say lets gently caress(that was a close call it almost looks like it says “tell” or something) he gave me one m some 

(page 11) Hits More loving shot but then the sneaky he took my sanity 
and even my last buck. he should have just waited til late one night and
snatched me up in a truck. I guess he likes it better this way.
I put up no fight, he his words seem so honest then
but now I feel there bite I thought those eyes were truthfull
now I could never have been less right 

(page 12) I should have guessed his type
he’s loving high as methhead getting so high like spun like a kite or even better pilot who 24/7 pilot (unintelligible) crashing never crashing 
who just crashes to end flight I dont know what to think as I sit here
still only fight write what the gently caress I wonder how he will explain 
being behind locked

(page 13) doors all night whats he doing is he plotting, planning
scheming or just glued to his loving meth pipe.
well theres one mystery solved, I hear the butane light I hear
the torch again and wait… yep there is that it is its awful sounds
like crystals in his cough it’s so hosed up to do this poo poo
consume just to get off, 

(page 14) but the (unintelligible) thing about his cough he maybe
understands, cannot make him care that he will never get enough.
I know I hear him standing I can hear the floor creak beneath him
I feel like creepy(?illegible) to thinking bout how easily
wh how the gently caress sold that I loving I believe him and what strut
is his roommates queerer than a 3 dollar bill.

(page 15) Im not certain if he knows it but any girl he meets sure will.
Y the gently caress did I do this. I came here long ago, planned to fly leave
everyday but here I am something Im still he he still gently caress I know there
talking about me right loving now… cant really hear the a word s 
they say but thats how I know now. This is loving crap I hear my
own friends voice 

(page 16) Whispering along with doubt I have to go and grab my things
I have no other choice. Hes sitting in his room again he must be
waiting for me to show. Say God with a bunch of reasons who he needs
to go all wrapped up like his first lies in the same loving fake bow

(page 17) I dont kno Theres nothing I can saw now, Ive dug myself a rut
He’ll get mad or offended if I ask what is what no no ifs no ands and 
are you crazy lunatic? no loving questioning no pestering no if, or, ands or buts.
His roommate will so cross my (illegible) soon time to take out the mutt.

(page 18) If there still up at this time sh they never wait for noon. I hear his
cough get closer Len, prepare to feel like a baboon. I want a loving shot right now
the shot but I don’t drink no alcohol my shots come frum a spoon. Just grabbed some chips and dips hear the bathroom

(page 19) shut it so gross I think to dat where you also wipe your butt, that would be the door
opening but he goes into his room, carried on some chatter with some bitch girl as thinner than a broom. So at point think it’s clear tho it’spointless not wise to assume. I went along and danced around while he played his loving

(page 20) tune his so doesn’t sound feel melodic tho more like chemical fumes smoke so thick and poisness they theres nothing they can’t consume they attach them selves to anyone (illegible)
with eager open lungs, even steps to relevant(?) ones it gives no poo poo doesn’t matter 
it doesn’t discriminate never too old or young. 

(page 21) They just closed the door coz they are talking about me to be able to loving 
hear if this fag could lift is feet all I heard are tones. Not words and this tone came
was the first questioning of Adam leading to a him to curse

(page 22) Sounds like there defending me tho (illegible) but that wouldn’t even work.
You can change the spots on leapords or sa angry lieing jerks have no clue how it’s going
Now gently caress dont (illegible) why’s he sweeping the floor drain(?) and of course he
I don’t think its sounding too bad, I cant bev loving sure oh no th I heard 

(page 23) them tell him they will tell “could tell her if you want, not say its coming from 
(illegible) you” and the N he say demands shut door. I hear them say “She is in Winners(?) which could be some code for well (illegible Star? Scar?) her poo poo an take our pick theyll wish I had a bit more I only but they could some score what they adore from all they took before

(page 24) He’s really mad I know for a fact we have b seen this before he would have said something to clarify if he did not want me to feel ignored but WTF he sa has no care for if im just to another him im just a whore so now ill go were i once slept and pick up all the clothes i wore and he can tell me all about some problem that someone boar somehow came to (lies) shore and can leave and i can think(?illegible) best how long ill chase this poo poo 4

(page 25) So Iguess the ending to this song/ Im all strung out completely wronge/ when I asked about his sketchy ways/ his eyes met mine with such a glaze/ is this just me, a mental craze/ some sort of temperal strange psychotic rage faze? Well call me looney or mad if thats what you think, but yu know what I saw buy the sink/ planning my demize over a cold drink/ so i explain or now yo

(page 26) How you jayson told me leave you alone/ will while im on the sofa all sketch and alone/
I lay on the couch afraid and alone/ while you smoke his dopes dope while he fantasizes about smoking your bone

(page 27) He pulls you and (illegible) deceives you to keep you in his private zone/ that’s weird since last night,
you defiled me held me to tell me you want me for your own/ well look at your face now/ trust those? tell me how


(page 28) What a bummer
I wish you were funner

I want this to work so Im taking a stance
tho its making me berserk 
I give you 1 more chance
but once more yr a jerk
I give up on our romance
_______ __________ Respect + affection
its up to you to make things go better
all you need is to be kind
I want your love + affection